What G0YS embrace is masculinity in it's purest forms. Many G0YS are GAY, or (usually)-BI identified men (who might wear those labels IF they were not aware of the G0Y movement). Many G0YS are STRAIGHT identified (involved in marriage or exclusive relationships with women) also - but have these deep feelings for masculine affection nonetheless (whether ever acted upon or not). Many of these men have had 1 or more sexual encounters with other men (not anal) & lack the language to describe those feelings & relationships. The term "gay" simply encloses too large a group & offensive associated stereotypes. G0YS place friendships at the top of their proverbial "list". Some of those friendships deepen to a level that is so intimate & personal that sexuality often becomes an element; -- & strong, invisible cords of love, respect & extreme-discretion cover what is an intensely personal thing. The reputation of the flamboyance, promiscuity, filth & bizarre cross-culture of the term "gay" - is seen as an affront to g0y relationships. G0YS are not homo-phobic (as we readily admit that we are men who love masculinity). Perhaps we're "PHREAK-O-PHOBIC". We detest acts that degrade & disrespect masculinity; - & thereby diminish the man. This is why we have adopted the term "G0Y" as opposed to "GAY" - & we offer no apology for our discretion in doing so. Also realizing that "GAY" is a slang, nebulous term (not a precisely defined word); -G0YS have chosen to form a separate group where "who we are" is tightly defined with an unmistakable term. Even if some people consider "G0YS" to be a subset of "GAY"; -We represent less than 5% of the "Gay Male" community -- while encompassing a much larger number of men who happen to have Same Gender Attractions (& may or may not have attractions for the other). Using Kinsey's numbers to clarify: Gay's represent K-6's while G0YS encompass K-[1-6] men within behavioral constraints. Because G0YS technically represent a much larger number of men than "gay"; -- it is actually inaccurate to consider us a subset of gay-male culture.
Out of the research I've done on the Internet about everything "gay" - It's been my observation & experience that being "g0y" is about the deep connection between a couple of dudes. That connection begins as a friendship that gradually deepens to the point where defenses come down & inhibitions drop as a bond of powerful affection grows - often beside an appreciation of each guy's masculine traits & physique.
Love is a complex, wonderful language that expresses itself in many ways. Sharing property - such as living space, money or vehicles with another person makes a powerful statement. Sharing laughter, deep conversation & personal issues - likewise is often a strong step toward intimacy. Between a couple of men, reaching a point of trust where sharing touch, nakedness & mutual climax is the ultimate bond of intimacy between a couple of buds.
In my experience, there is a place in the heart of most men where they want affirmation from other strong, masculine men that affirms them as men & does not threaten their masculine core. Is this not exactly what sons want from their fathers on a basic emotional level? Likewise, guys shun 'sissy-bois' because sissies do not affirm a joint sense of masculinity. Aggressive boys fight & aggressive bois phuck - - all done for masculine affirmation. But, that affirmation is one of outward roughness & shunning of external perceptions of weakness.
And what is the emotional reaction when one tough guy makes it clear that he values the other guy as much - even more than himself? How does the man feel who realizes that his friend will not raise a hand against him in conflict because his friend values him more as a person than his right to 'exact vengeance'?
I think we're beginning to uncover the difference in the feelings between the depths of masculinity vs. the petty vindictiveness of effeminate thoughts, acts & lifestyles of the cowardly. Being g0y is about the deep connection. Being g0y is about loving the wholeness of the other guy so much that the barrier to touch, closeness & emotional intimacy dissolve.
It is a deeply intimate & private thing - never to be lauded or flaunted. Being g0y is a mindset that says (often nonverbally) "Although I am a guy with an arsenal of assault weaponry as close as my fists, -- I value you so much that I want to make you feel good - & feel accepted by me - a peer." It says, "As a guy, being naked makes me vulnerable - but I trust you to be so with you.". It says, "As a guy, I know that being touched like this has great meaning & feels very good when done in proper context & with total respect; - & because I have such feelings toward you - I enjoy touching you in this way because I accept you totally & want to make you feel very good when near me." It says, "I accept you without reservation - from your embrace - to your hardened penis that is expressing your mutual feelings as it frantically disgorges the evidence of your reciprocated appreciation - as mine answers in kind.". It says, "Relax into my hug & into the afterglow's peace - with no anxiety, or fear - because you are loved & accepted as the virile guy you are; - And I affirm you because I am likewise, such a guy." It says: "I will never show other's your weaknesses or do anything that puts you in the light of compromise. I value the secret depths of our friendship so much that only with mutual consent would I ever disclose them."
Because this is the heart of being g0y - it is why the "gAy" community is virtually unaware of our presence & society does not comprehend our number. G0Y is about the "connection". It is about the sacred trust of love between guys who show their soft-undersides to each other in a paradigm of "being tough".
This is what men want & why so many who are in this group have come here. This is the focus of what so many guys write to me about. This is what is missing from the visage of the "gAy male community" as it thrusts it's arse into everyone's face.
We are the g0ys. The distinction is self-evident & if you knew who was among our numbers ... you'd be astonished!
When the term "GAY" was coined, --it originally meant "Same Gender Attracted". G0YS have no problem with THAT simple definition. However, -as time passed, the term "GAY" became connected with cross-gender behaviors (which is why "intersexed" & "transgender" ride in the gay-pride passenger seats) & perilous acts such as AnalSex. In many places, the term "GAY-SEX" has come to equate "ANAL-SEX". G0YS completely reject that notion and find the ASSociation repugnant to our innate morals. Please keep those distinctions in mind whenever you read a G0Y commentary critical of "The GAYS". It is not the original use of the term, --but what it has morphed into, -that g0ys find reprehensible (& "reprehensible" is perhaps, -too soft of a descriptor).
G0YS (Spelled with a ZER0) are guys who find men physically & emotionally attractive, but (for whatever reason) are offended with the stigmas that currently define the 'gay community' in the public psyche. G0YS recognize that the prominent facets of the "gay-male" community tend to embrace every gender-bending act, fetish & affectation; --And include those things in the general specter of the image that "gay" projects publicly. The easiest to observe example is the commonly used acronym "GLIT" (sometimes "GLIB") meaning Gay, Lesbian, Intersexed, Transgendered (or BiSexual). The fact that "GAY" is grouped with "Intersexed & Transgendered" is evidence to our primary point showing what the term "GAY" has morphed into. G0YS reject those associations completely & consider it a form of gender-prejudice against men who love men(/too).
And the fact g0ys say (/too) is also a hint that "G0YS" is NOT a "sexual orientation"! A man can be anywhere on Kinsey's scale (except 0) and identify his attitudes as "G0Y" in nature. In fact, -most men are generally g0y - based on statistics & studies done about male sexuality. This is actually a gigantic point of fact that most people & publications fail to recognize. G0YS is NOT a minority. G0YS represents the vast MAJORITY of men and describes what men actually FEEL & actually DO; -- As opposed to what most openly claim regarding an intimate context with other men. Again: G0YS is NOT a sexual orientation. It is simply a term that describes what most men feel towards others across Kinsey's 1-6 range while eliminating any notion of gender-phuck (& especially shunning all anal sex fetishes).
Anal-sex is innately shunned by g0ys - as it represents the ultimate form of sexual disrespect whether male/male or male/female. Other distasteful stereotypes include (but are not limited to): Effeminate behavior, extreme passivity (like cowardice), & gender-phuck (I.E: drag). G0YS don't call other men "girl", "bitch", "queen", etc. G0Ys embrace the strong androgenizing effects of testosterone; -Bracketed in a philosophy of sound ethics summarized in the expression that: "Love works no ill toward others".
G0YS also reject (due to well developed theology), the lax & lazy prejudices that have arisen in conservative fundamentalist circles against all same-gender sexuality. In Christian circles, this travesty has arisen due to the extremely sloppy exegesis (& outfight fraud) of (6) verses of Scripture, w. a total failure to rightfully divide the Word. This becomes quite apparent when the theme of the New Testament is held up as a standard, & these anti same-gender teachings are examined in light of that theme. Very briefly, Romans chapter (1) is a scathing commentary exposing temple prostitution & Anal-sex (Women w. men, & men w. men; -- N0T what is called 'homo-sex'). This is made very clear by other writings of Saul/Paul himself, & a warning from Peter about those who would misinterpret Paul's writings. Paul writes that those who did these things received within themselves the due penalty for their perverse behavior - & that penalty was death. Likewise, G0YS point out that Anal-Sex is the mechanism for the EXPLOSIVE SPREAD of Sexually Transmitted Diseases over the globe - many deadly. The anus is not a sexual organ (genital) & treating it as such violates Moses' command "Not to bear false witness". Scripture teaches that one of the very foundations of the faith involves "repentance from acts that lead to death". G0YS believe that changing the meaning of the Romans (1) from being against anal-sex, to a focus on (& against) 'homo-sex', -simultaneously adds & deletes from the canon of Scripture; & carries the ultimate penalty for perverting the gospel.